Crest Trail Sans Bicycle

28 Weeks along and I'm starting to make peace with this pregnancy. Mostly because I'm not constantly nauseous anymore. I've come to accept that daily bouts of nausea and heartburn are tolerable after enduring five months of the more extreme variety.

Jon Kabat-Zinn writes:
There is an art to facing difficulties in ways that lead to effective solutions and to inner peace and harmony. When we are able to mobilize our inner resources to face our problems artfully, we find we are usually able to orient ourselves in such a way that we can use the pressure of the problem itself to propel us through it, just as the sailor can position a sail to make the best use of the pressure of the wind to propel the boat.

I learned early on that I couldn't head straight into the wind. As a result of hyperemesis gravidarum, I left my job, I handed over pet chores to my husband, and I sold my bike. Now, that I'm starting to feel human again, I feel way off course and am trying to make sense of that. Going back to where I was isn't an option and motherhood is less than three months away.

I never expected to be up on the Monarch Crest Trail without my bicycle. It seemed unnatural. We got up early and I dropped Anton and two of his friends off at the the top of Monarch Pass at 11,312 feet elevation, so that they could ride the trail and road back into town.


I went for a slow hike with Moby and I was exhausted but thoroughly glad to have gotten out of the house and into the mountains for the first time since March.